Breathwork and Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Information for Your Breathwork & IFS Workshop
Early in life we learn to suppress our emotions physically by tensing muscles and restricting the breath. Over time, this protective process becomes chronic and automatic, and we lose the capacity to experience and express emotions. In Breathwork, we accelerate the breathing to reverse this suppression, allowing for the release of the long-held emotional charges. The process also reduces the primacy of the logical mind and relaxes psychological defenses.
In the same way that we have a force inside us that heals our physical body when it is injured or sick, we also have an inner healing force that heals our emotional body when it is out of balance. Doing Breathwork allows this inner healer to work with great power. One reason is that you are lifting the veil between the conscious and the unconscious. Another reason is that you are circumventing your resistances to healing.
Things that Happen in Breathwork
Breathwork allows access to an expanded, or nonordinary, state of consciousness. This might feel strange to you, but it is a universal phenomenon, our birthright, and one that has been experienced by most humans around the world and back through time. Not only is Breathwork a safe way of accessing nonordinary states, it is actually healthy for the body. Though the journey can be scary, especially at first, you are always in control of the process.
Experiences can be physical, emotional, and intellectual. They can include material from your history, your unconscious mind, and even your birth. They may also tap into transpersonal or spiritual dimensions, such as past life sequences, archetypes and symbols from the collective unconscious, experiential identification with animals or other life forms, encounters with various deities, or merging into the light.
Along with held back feelings, memories may emerge as well. However, experiencing old memories and emotions through Breathwork is quite different from experiencing them in real life -- not so overwhelming. It is more like watching a movie of them, because you retain your current adult ego state. Sometimes you can feel the old pain and the bliss of letting it go simultaneously. When you are in touch with old memories, you can create a reparative experience by changing the outcome – making noise and expressing when you couldn’t before, or having someone hold you when you lacked that as a child.
Breathwork from an IFS Perspective
Purposely increasing the breathing invites more Self-energy into the body, leading to a variety of possible experiences:
Parts unblend, and the participant experiences the attributes of Self
The transpersonal Self is experienced as light, energy, bliss, or other spiritual manifestations.
Guides, in various forms, are encountered.
The presence of Self from the breather and facilitator or sitter invites the emergence of exiles.
The exiles find acceptance from Self.
The exiles express through the body to varying degrees, through images or "knowing," showing Self scenes from the past to be felt, witnessed, and healed.
Manager parts that have concerns about any of the above emerge, providing the opportunity to work with them. The process is especially effective at bringing to awareness managers that live in the body and serve to restrict the breathing and block the flow of energy. They can be unburdened of the need to inhibit the life force and experience that the result is not only safe, but also beneficial and enjoyable.
The Breathing Technique
During the workshop, I will demonstrate a fast and full breath, and give you a chance to try it. It involves breathing through the mouth, mostly into the chest, with the inhales and exhales connected, so it’s sort of like a circular breathing. More effort goes into the inhale, with the exhale being more of a letting go. Once you get into a rhythm of breathing that works for you, you can stay with it without worrying about proper form. The main thing is to breathe faster and deeper, because that is what drives the process. The more air you pump, the deeper your experience is likely to be. So, if you feel that you aren’t getting very far after 20 or 30 minutes, increase the breathing, or ask for help. Otherwise, at the end, you could end up saying “Nothing happened!”
Some people find this way of breathing to be liberating and joyful, while others experience much resistance. If you are having a hard time, it is important to stay with the powerful breathing as much as you can anyway. Sometimes it’s like riding a bike uphill, and after a while you get to experience the ease of the downhill ride. The resistance can be about many things, mostly having to do with being afraid to feel the feelings that your inhibited breathing has served to keep suppressed. If you trust the process and let go, the scary feelings will come up and you will be able to move through them, providing access to a new freedom.
Probably the most valuable thing that IFS offers to Breathwork is a way to understand and work with this resistance. When we identify the parts that are trying to inhibit the process and work with them respectfully, they tend to relax and permit access to deeper levels of consciousness.
When asked how long to keep up the breathing, Stanislav Grof, co-developer of Holotropic Breathwork, says, “Breathe until you’re surprised.” If you are wondering whether it’s time to back off on the fast and full breath, then don’t. When you are in the place you want to access, you will not be having this type of internal conversation. If you go into a process, spend some time there, and come back, feel free to resume the accelerated breathing. Some people go through several cycles in one session. If the music is still powerful, you will know there is time left.
If we sense that your breathing is blocked and insufficient to bring you to a fruitful experience, we may coach you to deepen the breath. In these shorter sessions, facilitators are more likely to intervene than in Holotropic Breathwork. If you are already where you need to be, or if you don’t want to be disturbed, just wave us off. We will handle any of our parts that might get offended! Sometimes it’s not possible to know where someone is in his experience, so we want you to let us know if necessary.
Tetany
About 40% of new breathers will experience tetany, which can range from a tingly or numb sensation to spasms and cramps. It seems to be an indication of blocked energy or armoring. The most important thing to know about tetany is that it is not dangerous and that it always passes. If you have this experience, relax into it the best you can. You might also ask yourself, “How does this energy want to express itself?” or “What am I holding onto right now or in my life?” Often, finding a way to let go of the physical holding provides an insight into a valuable letting go that can be applied to life circumstances. If you are blowing or forcing the exhale, letting it come out naturally will reduce the tetany. You can also ask for support from your sitter or facilitators.
The Partnership
During the workshop, you will have a partner. In the first breathing session, one person will do the breathing while her partner “sits” for her. The sitter’s role is to hold space and give support with practical matters, without intervening unnecessarily in the process. Depending on the sitter's capabilities and willingness, he may also help with IFS processing of emerging parts. Breathers and sitters switch roles for the second session.
Sitting and breathing allow the exploration of the roles of giving and receiving respectively. If you have issues with these roles, they will emerge during the workshop. If you have difficulty giving, you will feel bored as a sitter and want to read or otherwise distract yourself. If you have difficulty receiving, you will want to take care of your sitter while you breathe, wondering if you are demanding too much or not providing enough entertainment. Notice what comes up around these roles and see if you can get something that you can apply in day-to-day life.
Before your breathing session, make a “contract” with your sitter. Tell her if you want to be reminded to breathe if it looks like you stopped the process, and specify if you’d like a hand on your chest, a tap on the shoulder, or a whisper in your ear to ”breathe.” You may set up hand signals for practical needs like tissues, your water bottle, an extra blanket, etc. Spell out any boundaries around touch that you would like. You will also want to discuss the possibilities of IFS processing during the session.
The Role of the Sitter
While your partner is breathing you will sit to her side observing, ready to offer any assistance. You will have the difficult task of treading that fine line between giving too little and too much. You want to assist the breather in any way you can, but you don’t want to interrupt her experience! For example, it’s best not to touch her unless she asks. Use this process as an opportunity to focus within, maintain a connection with another, and develop your intuition. When in doubt, it is better to do less, or call one of us over. Do not underestimate the value of your simple presence.
If the breather asks you for something, provide it within the limits of your own comfort and boundaries; it is important that you take care of yourself in this regard. In addition to verbal requests, you may be aware of the unasked needs of your partner. Is he obviously cold? Is the blanket he’s lying on clumpy and distorting his back? Put a tissue into his hand if he begins to cry, and have his water bottle handy. Be sure his glasses are safe. If a neighbor is getting very active, create a barrier with pillows and/or your body to keep your partner safe.
Make sure the breather continues to breathe. Notice if she is keeping the breath continuous and uninterrupted, especially during the beginning. It is very common for the breather to take long pauses between breaths or to stop breathing altogether. If she does this, respond according to your contract. This may have to be repeated many times depending on the breather. When difficult emotions come up the breather may subconsciously attempt to avoid them by engaging in idle conversation or some other distraction to short circuit the intensity of the experience. If something happens that you are unsure about or need help with, call one of us over.
The Role of the Breather
Your job is to breathe. If you can, also begin to notice, to scan, your body. Notice physical sensations as well as emotions that may manifest in physical form in your body. For example, the emotional component of neck stiffness may be anger or frustration, tightness in the chest may have sadness underneath, or nausea may be covering terror. Relating to these manifestations as parts can create new and valuable openings in your process.
Since your sitter will be trying to avoid interrupting your session, you will need to be brave and go ahead and ask for what you need. This is your time to be King or Queen for the hour. It is up to your sitter and facilitators to say “no” to any requests that would be inappropriate for us to honor. But there is never any shame in asking.
Blending the Modalities
During the workshop, I will present some information on integrating IFS and Breathwork. If you are interested, you can read an article here: www.tedriskin.com/hb/IFS&BreathworkPrint.pdf. In the diagram below, you see a continuum representing the possibilities for combining IFS and Breathwork. Some of you already have experience with the box on the left (pure IFS) or on the right (pure Breathwork).
During this workshop, you will take your experience somewhere on this continuum. If you want to work more on the IFS end of the spectrum, it will be helpful to have a partner with some IFS training. Unfortunately, not many of the attendees this time are IFS therapists, so we will do the best we can with what you learn from Monique's talk and your own experience with IFS. In addition, Monique and I will be available to help you work with your parts during your session. What we have found in the past is that most people do just fine with minimal external intervention, or none at all.
Workshop Format
All are invited to Monique's presentation about IFS at 12:30. If you are already fluent with the model, it is fine to skip this part of the workshop.
At 1:30, we will begin the experiential workshop with an introductory exploration of the breath, noticing any parts that react to a full and connected breathing, Because there are a fair number of people who are new to both IFS and Breathwork, we will follow with a brief orientation about Breathwork. (In the future, we may be able to do this orientation separately. If you are new to Breathwork, please familiarize yourself with this material before you come.) Next is a discussion about integrating the two modalities and a short demo. Then, after some preparation in the practicalities of Breathwork, we will conduct two breathing sessions of about 55 minutes.
At the end, we get back together in a circle to briefly share our experiences.
Ground Rules and Safety
Experiencing sexual or aggressive energy or parts can be valuable and healing, but it must be done in a way that doesn’t violate the other participants. If you want to express anger and aggression, feel free to call one of us over, and we can help you find safe ways to do that. Yelling, cursing, and making noises is permitted in all cases. Chatting tends to pull people back into their conscious minds, disrupting their process, so please be aware of your surroundings if you want to talk.
We will do our best to allow any expression you want to enact. If we stop you, it is because we believe that there is a danger to you, us, another participant, or the facility.
If at any time we are working with you physically and it feels wrong, or you want us to stop, say “STOP” or “STOP, I MEAN IT.” Other vocalizations, such as “Get the f--- off me” will be taken as part of your process.
It is your responsibility to report any medical conditions to one of us, and relevant ones to your sitter.
Occasionally people ask about continuing with Breathwork on their own. While some facilitators unequivocally recommend against it, I believe it can be useful under the right circumstances, especially after being facilitated for ten or so sessions. Feel free to discuss this issue with me.
Preparation
Make sure to dress comfortably for the workshop. Sweats are good when it’s cool, and wearing layers will help if you get hot or cold. If you think you might be the breather for the first session, don’t eat too much before you come.
You will have a choice of conducting your session while lying on a mat (best on the Breathwork end of the continuum) or sitting (best for the IFS side of things). If you want to lie down, and you have some type of mat you can bring, that would be great. You might also bring:
Sheet to cover a small mat
A top sheet if you wish
Blanket, comforter, or sleeping bag
Pillow
Water bottle
In addition, you may want to have:
Eyeshades
Your glasses or eye drops if you wear contacts
Journal
Stuffed animal
Don’t worry if you can’t bring any of the above.
If you haven’t already, you can find directions at www.tedriskin.com by visiting the page that details your workshop.
It is normal to feel anxious (or you could label it excited) before doing something new like this. Please know that everyone has survived so far! Feel free to call me with your considerations at 973-785-1938 or Monique at 718-543-1640.
To reach me on the day of the workshop, try 973-615-1061.
